6 weeks ago today I delivered my second daughter via C-section. It was a quick recovery for me, 48 hours later I was back at home with my family. At my 2-week check-up, I specifically asked my doctor if I could start using my elliptical machine, and she gave me the go-ahead. That was four weeks ago, and I have yet to get on it. That damn machine that cost my husband and I thousands and thousands of dollars and that seemed like an investment in our health. Yeah, right. It’s sitting in the upstairs loft, outside of our master bedroom and on the way to the nursery and behind my computer. I pass it one dozen times a day at least, and can’t manage to get my biscuit on it. As a matter of fact, I just turned around to look at it and notice that 1) my yoga mat is also hanging on it in a cute yoga mat carrying case, you know, in case I ever decide to go to a yoga class and 2) it’s dusty (note to self – talk to cleaning lady about that one).

Now that I really sit here and think about where I am physically, I understand why I don’t want to venture outside right now. It’s because I’m ashamed of myself. And I know, having a baby is a big deal, 9 months up and 9 months down, blah blah blah… but there is no excuse for my laziness! I have a toddler who goes to bed at 7 and sleeps straight through until 7 the next morning and an infant who sleeps up to 7 hours at a stretch, so technically I don’t suffer from that new mom exhaustion I thought I’d be facing. THERE IS JUST NO EXCUSE ANYMORE. I must take better care of myself.

I ordered “Body After Baby” and “Buff Moms“, and according to both authors, I am not a lost cause. That is good news, I was beginning to think I was. I don’t want to be that mom – you know the one – who acts like a martyr in her sacrificing of her own self for her kids. I mean, I love being a mom, adore my girls, but what am I teaching them when they are turned out so beautifully all of the time, and I am still schlubbing around in the gray velour sweatpants (size large!) that I bought at TJ Maxx during my pregnancy? (Dirty little secret – I wash these pants EVERY NIGHT and wear them EVERY DAY. One single pair of pants. They are frayed at the bottoms and the seams are worn and I must throw them out.) So, it is time. It is time to get my act together, make some effort and regain my old self – all 115 pounds of her. I have two pairs of new Paige Premium Denim jeans in my closet in my old size, never worn still with the tags on them, and I am dying to wear them out in public – sans the muffin top! Wish me luck!