This is Pea. She is sweet and sassy and smart and clever and cunning. This morning, she asked for “cook-ahs” for breakfast. I said no. Two minutes later, she had a bag of animal crackers in her hand and was chomping away. On the floor, next to the pantry, was her Spanish-speaking learning drum. She had used it as a stool to reach the upper cabinet to get the cookies. Ugh! She’s just shy of two, and if this morning’s cookie adventure is any sign of things to come, her father and I are in big trouble.

How is it possible to love someone so much and yet be so extremely frustrated with them at the same time? As she is getting her words more and more fluently, she is testing limits with me more and more. She says “no” like she means it. And as soon as she says it, I am already defeated. She says things like “I don’t want that.” When did this happen? It must’ve been sometime during the night, because yesterday, the most she could say was “more, please.” And it wasn’t enunciated that clearly, either. People warned me about the terrible twos, said they might be especially tough for us because Pea is already a spirited kid. But I never really bought into it. Honestly, my smug self said “we have this all under control. She understands limits. She gets it.” Oh, was I ever wrong. Sure, I know she gets it, but she’s not going to give in to it.

She is at times full of affection that makes my heart ache. And moments later, she is full of impatience and frustration and even rage. And I shake my head, count to 10 and say a silent prayer before going in that this is going to end soon. My husband wants me to try this method of speaking to her that he learned from Dr. Karp. Dr. Karp is a friend of this household, definitely. He helped us survive the first few months of Pea’s life when she was a screaming mimi with his book “The Happiest Baby on the Block.” But his toddler method, well, it makes me uncomfortable. I don’t really understand it, can’t quite wrap my head around it and I feel like an idiot when I’m actually doing it. I’ve heard my husband use the techniques with Pea to quite a bit of success, but I can’t get my little head around it. It’s a lot of quick, repetitive speech that makes me look over my shoulder to make sure no one else can hear how I am speaking to my child. But right now I am at a loss for any other means to handle this period of her life and so think I might really, really have to give it another try.