Tee-tee is Pea’s term for “pee-pee.” Every time one of our dogs goes outside, she says “tee-tee!” So I know she understands the concept. But imagine my surprise when a few hours ago, she announced to me while in the bathroom having one of her boo-boos bandaged, that she wanted to go tee-tee and insistently pointed to the potty. Not her little BABYBJÖRN Potty Chair, but the big potty – the one mama uses. I first decided to let her try her little one out, unsure that she actually knows it’s anything more than just a toy. So she sat on it for what felt like an eternity reading her “Potty Time with Elmo”. And then, in a wild blur, I plopped her on the big girl toilet. After a few weak sways and “whoa! whoa! whoas!” from her, she scrunched up her little face and made a doodah in the big girl potty. Not a tee-tee, but a full-on number two!

I was so excited and trying so hard not to forget all I’ve read about potty-training. After a lot of high-fives and woo hoos, I showed her how to wipe, how to flush, how to wash her hands and I gave her an Elmo sticker as a reward, and then I didn’t know what else to do so I put her in a pair of real panties. And she peed in them. So I changed them. She peed again. I changed them again. She peed again. Three pairs of panties in about an hour. And I had been asking her, over and over (maybe too much?) if she had to tee-tee. It’s not like I put her in panties and disappeared. I was right there with her, doing my best to coach her – encourage her – through it.

What the hell am I doing?

Maybe she’s not ready?

Do I wait?

Is there no looking back?

I just put her down for a nap. In a diaper. And now I’m on the Internet trying to make sense of this all. It never bothered me that she was still in diapers. Until she actually used the potty, and then I was screaming “this is amazing! No more diapers! One down one to go…” And now? Was it all just a dream? Maybe it never happened?