So I write my blog about my life. My life is probably different than your life. Or maybe not. A few things about me: I am a mother to two gorgeous little girls; I am fortunate enough to be a stay-at-home mom; my husband works very, very hard for his family, and for that I thank my lucky stars every day; yes, I like to shop, but I don’t know many women who don’t. But I am crafty and can work a sale and can wait months and months for something to go on sale before I snap it up; I uphold the family budget in our home, that’s right: we work off of a budget.
This was not always the case.
I was spoiled when I was younger. I had a plethora of credit cards and when my balances got out of control, my father would pay them off and then I would shamelessly start over. I am not proud of this. I wore Prada when I did not have a Prada income. It’s obnoxious, but I am not that person anymore. My husband and I have worked very hard to get to where we are. And I do not apologize for that, and I don’t think I should have to.
I don’t believe that everyone is going to relate to my story.
Some other things about me: I strive every day to teach my girls to be kind, just, open-hearted and level-headed. I expect my older daughter to put her napkin on her lap when she sits down to eat. She says “please” and “thank you” and “excuse me.” She puts her toys away at the end of the day. We take walks to the park as a family, we read together, we cook together, we dine together. We say our prayers together at night, before we go to sleep. This would be on an ideal day. Some days just don’t go according to plan. Some days are more challenging than others. And I chronicle those days candidly, too.
I have a young woman who comes to my home one day a week for 5 hours so that I can get some things done on my own. She likes to be called a nanny, and I have no issue with that. This is no different than my own upbringing as a child. We also had nannies to help my single mother – who worked very hard – take care of us. It is not anything to be ashamed of. She doesn’t just watch my girls. She does art projects with Pea, and she is teaching her colors in Spanish right now. I like that.
We live in a small cottage in Fort Worth. It’s an old home that a former owner took very good care of. She made a lot of upgrades, one of which was converting a portion of our garage into small guest quarters. It was recently destroyed by a massive flood and that is why we now have to renovate it.
I feel very fortunate that my family is where it is today. But we did not get here by mistake. It was a long and bumpy road that led us to this place. And I remember that every day.
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good site hyaeki
I recently began reading your blog, and think you seem like a great person! Thanks for the great reading!
Hi Melissa.
I can’t say anything here, that 14 other people haven’t already said, but I am jumping on the wagon anyway.
I recently learend a VERY important lesson, that my acupuncturist actually turned me on to… When you are feeling negative towards someone, turn your dispute back on yourself, and try to see what negative feelings are festering in YOUR gut….I can apply this to almost any situation…and what I’m getting at, is that whoever made a neg. comment on your postings, is probably feeling pretty badly about their own situation.
These are hard times, and some of us (myself included) are working ridiculously hard (I work two jobs, I’m a single mom of two) and just barely making ends meet, but I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have always chosen to live simply, and when I am more financially stable, I will live comfortably SIMPLE again, but it will be MY comfort, not someone elses….your comfort is your comfort, and their comfort is THEIR comfort…Yay! *L*
I enjoy your blog. Your girls are gorgeous, and you are a very good writer!
Keep it up…
Appreciatively yours,
Marie in Vermont
Howdy from a transplanted Texan (recently sold our home in Arlington)! Very nice little blog you have here–keep it up; I’m enjoying it, and obviously many others are as well.
I actually just started reading your blog recently, and I’m not sure what it is, but I keep coming back and reading more of it. I don’t even have kids! but I hope to some day, and I really enjoy your candid and funny writing about the ups and downs of family life. Keep it up!
Just wanted to chime in and tell you that I have thoroughly enjoyed your blog. I don’t remember how I found you but you are now in my fav’s. As a mom of three young boys I so enjoy reading about girly things – oh, how I long for girly things – and appreciate all the fun, green, luxurious items you have pointed your devoted readers toward. Most notably the Aquaphor substitute (see I have already forgotten the name, it’s in the mail – my family is so addicted to aquaphor I will just consider it a sub for now).
Not sure I understand why anyone would find reason or feel the need to ridicule you but hey can hit that little ‘x’ in the upper right hand corner of their screen if they don’t enjoy what they read.
Keep blogging Melissa – and I hope Pea is well over her illness by now!
What an amazing response you have gotten from your readers(friends), this just shows how many of us enjoy hearing your stories and relate to your life. In this world it is great to have an opinion but if you can not find a way to say it without hurting someone else then it is not productive and becomes pointless. I guess “J” never taught her own children that “if you don’t have something nice to say don’t say anything at all.” You have had great blogs lately about being grateful and I think it is an amazing feeling to be grateful for being “Happy” with the world you have created for your family, “J” obviously is not Happy in hers and that is very sad.
I found you a few months ago and I read your blog daily and I truly enjoy hearing the stories and seeing your pictures. Its amazing how we as moms can connect with people we have never met and truly learn from their experiences. Thank you for your honesty it is not easy to write about your life and keep it so honest There will always be people who judge others I wish we did not always feel the need to justify our own feelings to them they are not worth our time.
I now visit your blog daily Melissa because I can very much relate to many aspects of it. The unfortunate comments we all sometimes get are just that I guess- unfortunate. Everyone has their opinion and you just can’t please everyone. We all are in this together though- raising kids who will one day work and play together. I do think it is extremely unproductive to degrade other mothers for who they are or how they parent. I think it is important for us to support each other and respect that we all have our own methods. Even if you disagree with something, it is counterproductive to lash out about it. Supporting each other even when we are different…isn’t that something we all want for our children? I guess in an ideal world we’d all be setting that example.
For what it’s worth, I think you are a great mother Melissa!
Never apologize for how you feel. Especially when it is not offensive on its face, and in YOUR internet blog, nonetheless. We all have a choice to read or not to read it, right? And your google ad, does say “chic mommy blog”, so the “unchic” or people who are likely to be ‘offended’ by the “chic” have been warned.
Do you, mama!
I’ve been in the same position defending the good life that we’v been blessed with… but there is no need to. You’re thankful for it and you don’t take it for granted that’s what matters. Your blog is fresh and genuine and anyone who doesn’t think so doesn’t belong!
Melissa,
You write about your life and people respond because its a universal theme–my friends and I call it “suburbanistas”–its the moms who left their careers and jobs to make a family and still want something out of life. They want to be the best moms, best wives, love to shop, cook, read, go out, etc, and they want to look good and feel good about themselves. Our generation is very different from our mothers, we all have tasted life and don’t want to let it pass us by. Your blog is a way of connecting all of us home with our children, whose husbands work hard to provide an incredibe life, it doesn’t mean that taking care of our children is any easier or we have any more patience. Its nice to find a community of soul mates!
Melissa,
I’ve been reading your blog for a few months (I’ve even read some of your earlier entries to “catch up”) and I felt compelled to post this time. I saw the comment that you are responding to and it offended me, as well. I am the proud mother of a 15 month old son, work full-time, have a cleaning lady (every other week), and a wonderful husband. I am type-A, organizing freak, love to cook and be the perfect hostess. I read your blog every day at work and it brightens my day. We all are in the place we are in b/c of choices (and sacrifices) we’ve made. No apologies necessary. I know you didn’t start this blog to have an impact on other people’s lives, but you have and you should be applauded.
I am so glad you are here in the blogosphere. I suppose there are always going to be people who feel the need to be critical. Your life is a beautiful testament to mindful living. You do not need to defend your life. To anyone.
You completely rock Melissa…
Enough said.
I have been reading your blog for months. You do help me a great deal. It is nice to know there is a Mother out there going through alot of the things I struggle with daily. Never apologize for anything! Life is about choices and the choices you and your hubby have made have put you on your own path. Some peolpe are always jealous of others no matter what!
Keep on bloggin’
Did someone give you flak about your post from the other day? I get the feeling from today’s post that someone made you feel like you needed to justify yourself. Ironic, when the original post was all about gratitude.
I lead a privileged life too, and I know it. And I am grateful for it every day. I did not grow up that way, and my husband and I worked very hard to get to where we are. I am exceedingly grateful that I have the opportunity to be at home with my children every day. I do not apologize for my cleaning lady or my weekly nanny morning (we’re leading parallel lives, Melissa!). Those things make me a better mother because they ensure that I am not stretched too thin. If I am going to have the privilege of being home with my children and teaching them my values, I am damn well going to make sure that they get the best of me.
Anyway, I had to comment because your post struck a chord with me. I’m tired of people expecting me to apologize for or justify the things I have. It’s none of their business.
Hey Melissa, What’s up? The tone of this post suggests that someone’s been messing with one of my girlfriends
Is everything o.k. on your end? You’re right, there’s no need to apologize for who your are and what you have. We are all different people and I come by and check out your blog daily, just for that reason. You offer me a perspective/insight into a place I don’t go everyday and I appreciate your daily offerings. Peace!