Coco is turning one tomorrow. It’s turning out to be a much different celebration than I had imagined. The guest list includes myself, the birthday girl, her older sister, her father and her grandmother, GiGi. That’s it. Not such a big guest list, but I don’t think small kids need a lot of guests at their birthday party, but still, I’m a little sad.

Pea had a much larger and more festive first birthday celebration. Granted, we lived in Texas at the time and so my husband’s large family all came over for the big day. And there was a mound of presents and a catered brunch and it was all I’d wanted it to be.

Coco? Not so much. I’m feeling disappointed. My father promised me, months ago, that he and my brother were definitely going to come in for it. He mentioned something about not wanting to miss a moment of my girls’ precious lives. He emailed me about a week ago to say he wouldn’t be here, after all. Something else going on. Something better? More important? I don’t think so… I know where he’ll be and suffice it to say he should be here, with us. But this is simply the story of my life with my father, being let down when it was really important that he be present and accounted for. But then my girls came along, and I forgave him for the absences in my own childhood because it seemed he was fully checked in for my girls’ childhoods. Maybe now, not so much? And I understand my brother not being able to come in for it. He lives for his work right now. Work that finds him in Asia and Europe for about three weeks out of every month. But I feel bad for him especially, because I know he’d rather be here, but he’s just consumed with his career right now. My mother-in-law, who promised she wasn’t going to miss it, will not be here. I’m not going to get into her excuse, it’s too ridiculous, but I will say I’m not buying it. And the rest of our large family? I’m not holding my breath. It’s already Saturday, and nothing. Not even a card, an email. I’m ashamed of myself for thinking… for hoping that it was going to be different when we left. That people would still make an effort, just as we have been doing since we left.

Coco seems to have a bad case of Second Child Syndrome. Perhaps she’s not the only one who has been afflicted with it? In comparison to her older sister, it seems there has been much less fanfare on her behalf. I guess it’s fairly common. I’m reminded of my own little brother, did he feel the lesser enthusiasm, as well? Did he care? Because in all honesty, he’s a much, much more mellow person that I am. So laid-back. Maybe it didn’t phase him like it would have phased his older and more intensely uptight sister? Little Coco is also a mellow little thing. Maybe she won’t care, either? Maybe I’d better stop making a “thing” of it? Probably. Get over it. Move on. It is what it is. People are who they are. Just go forth and be grateful for what I… we… do have and leave it at that.

So it’s just going to be us. I’m going to cook myself, bake a triple tier chocolate cake with Pea, she picked out the recipe herself in her “Pink Princess Cookbook.” It’ll be quiet and that’s just fine. Next year, we plan on having all of our new friends and their children over to celebrate Coco’s big 0-2.