Comments on: follow-up

By: Shannon (Cole Mine)

Shannon (Cole Mine) — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 21:06:03 +0000

Sounds like you made a good choice for you and your family. I would have felt the same way.

By: Lynette

Lynette — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 14:24:11 +0000

Glad this all worked out for you & the kiddies! I have a hard time letting anyone but family watch my kids, and I can’t abuse that too much.

By: madison

madison — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 02:28:53 +0000

p.s.
Melissa~
I also went through a similar situation with a mother’s helper, but after I let her go, I had a giant pity party for myself. And that led to feeling the world on my shoulders, how would I manage…yada yada…
You are so cool to look at the bright side, focus on the positives and find a park with the girls and chocolate!
Thank you for pick me up mentality!
Madison

By: madison

madison — Mon, 21 Apr 2008 02:22:47 +0000

Melissa,

I love the follow up post. You sound very sensitive to someone who is helping you, but still firm that your girls come first.
To the quote from the former nanny, I appreciate you playing the other side and the what ifs, but also as a nanny, you’ve got to read the papers and listen to the media. Oprah? All it takes is one frustrated moment and children can be permanently harmed. I applaud that you feel strongly as you are probably one who does not want a few bad apples to ruin the barrel.
Back to Melissa, I still think you are right on. With the mother’s helper. I am sorry for her plight but we have to be mothers first, not counselors to helpers until they work through their issues.
Madison

By: Leiann

Leiann — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 15:32:08 +0000

I just wanted to say that based off your comment with your gut instinct, I am so happy you stopped, listened, and took action. I think often we do not do that enough in our lives so-good work! Just wasn’t a good match! And the girls thank you too:)

By: debra90

debra90 — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 02:34:00 +0000

I have to agree with you on this one you must go with your gut I know the girl is human and we should remember that but not when it comes to our children maybe if she was only doing housecleaning and said something off you could speak to her but not with your children. If we dont follow our gut and something really bad happens we will never forgive ourselves.My children are all grown up now but when they were little I had a girl babysit them twice I came home one day and had a bad feeling I dont know what it was I just felt uneasy so I let her go that night, My husband was so mad at me because it left us in a bad way for 2 weeks until I found someone else, Well a year later I read a story in the local paper that she was arrested for smacking a baby in the face so hard that the little one lost her hearing.
My heart sank I was so shocked I showed my husband that night and he felt bad for not trusting me and my gut feelings.So I say to you my dear M” lissa you did the right thing no matter what anyone says it is your children and if she had the nerve to say that to your daughter in front of you than God only knows what she would say when you are not their.Your girls are beaitiful and God gave them to you to guide and love and to protect you did the right thing. Your friend in Florida Debbie

By: Mary

Mary — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 01:09:42 +0000

I agree with the sitter thing…but do they seriously have summer camp for 3 year olds? Maybe I misread.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 20:17:58 +0000

Yea, I agree with all of the other posters.. but the one. That gut feeling, you go with it. You don’t owe anyone any explanations. You didn’t feel right about, and that’s it. And what if you kept her on and something DID happen?? You would feel horrible. Not worth the risk. When it comes to your girls, better to over react than to do nothing. That girl and her family life is not your responsibility. You can wish her the best, but if you felt slightly uncomfortable… yea.. you did the right thing!!! I’d have done the same thing and handled it in the same way.

By: Tara

Tara — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 06:18:30 +0000

Melissa, contrary to the other comment, THE most important statement is that you trusted your gut. “Classist prejudices?” That’s just absurd. I really think she’s making it something it’s not. You did the right thing and it was a call that NOBODY could make but you and your husband.

I call it the “Mother Bear Instinct.” We as mothers are given this instinct and we should not under any circumstances ignore it. Mother bears don’t think twice about getting rid of somebody who threatens the safety of her cubs and we shouldn’t either.

My oldest was only 14 months old when my twins were born and I did employ a mother’s helper. I never left her alone with the kids, her job was strictly housework and accompanying me on errands to help with the kids. She was a kooky weirdo but she was indispensable to me at the time. Before her, I interviewed gobs of people and what they say is true, good help IS hard to find! Good luck! And again, you did the right thing!

By: Jaina

Jaina — Sat, 19 Apr 2008 02:36:40 +0000

I know I already commented on this one, but I saw the comments following mine, and felt a strong desire to post again with a renewal of my agreement with Milena’s follow up comment. In my opinion, you did the right thing, and Milena is right on target.