Three nights ago, I had my first night out with two of the nicest women I’ve ever crossed paths with. You know how there are a select few people that you encounter in your life who just have the ability to make you feel like you’ve known them forever? Well that is how these two women made me feel. It was like being out with old friends rather than new acquaintances. And all of my “first date” jitters? What would I wear? What would we talk about? Will I like them? Will they like me? What a waste of time. I decided to just go in dressed like myself. Like I would dress on any given day. Yes, after all that worrying about what was I going to wear? Would I be too casual? Not dressed up enough? It all boiled down to would there be a connection? And when I stopped worrying about whether we’d like one another, and took on the attitude that these are just women… people… just like me, everything changed. I loosened up. I lost that fluttery feeling in my stomach. And although I did wear my new James Perse peacoat, and my gold hoops, it was still me. I wasn’t putting on any airs. I didn’t waste a lot of time and energy. I didn’t want to seem too eager.

Making new friends at my age is tough. Even with children as an ice breaker, it is still intimidating for me, to see groups of women who are bonded to one another already. It feels like being the new kid in school. Which I was. My first day of high school was just that. New kid, way over-dressed, in a freshman class of nearly 1,000 students. And making new friends here? Or anywhere? Feels just like those bygone days. I wish that I could fast-forward to a point somewhere in the future where I’ve done all of the hard and awkward work. And my phone is ringing. And it’s my mommy friend, telling me to hurry on down to Starbuck’s.

Although I’ve always had friends, I’ve also been somewhat of a lone wolf, if you will. I need a lot of space. Always have. As a kid, I was a reader and a thinker. And while I dabbled in sports and student government, I also flitted around between social groups. As I grew, that didn’t change too much. Until college. When I really came out of my shell. There was, apparently, a raging social butterfly inside of me that was just itching to get out. And get out she did. But once I left college and got out into the working world, making new friends became more difficult. There was a group of four of us from my first job at Showtime Networks who bonded. And eventually we all left Showtime and went on to new jobs, but we were still connected. Living in New York City, we clung to one another. We did everything together. As four women, we could not have been more different. There was Jen, who was living with an attorney, a Partner is a huge practice. They took me under their wing. We had such fun times, the three of us, tearing up the city. They were older, wiser. We ate at incredible restaurants. Drank the best wine. Took day trips to Block Island on a tiny plane that he piloted himself. I hosted her bridal shower when he finally popped the question. But they eventually traded in city life for a large old house in the country. Never had kids. Didn’t want children to interfere with their lifestyle. And then, there was Rachel. She was dating a guy. Forever. They broke up. Got back together. Broke up again. She was NYC born and bred. And a lot of fun. Eventually, she and her boyfriend took the plunge and got married, moved to Kentucky, had a baby just one month before we had Pea. And, Deb. Married. Dying for a child but having trouble getting pregnant. She had such phenomenal taste. She was gorgeous, the spitting image of Carolyn Bessette-Kennedy. But she moved to LA with her husband. Was pregnant within months. Then divorced. And as far as I know, still out there in LA. And… me. I left NYC for Iowa. Then returned. Got married. Moved to Texas. Had my babies. Then, on to Utah. And these three women and myself? Lost contact. Different paths. Different goals. Different lifestyles. Sigh. I miss them. But when your circumstances change, everything else tends to change, too. Good friends become old friends. Old friends move on. Move on hopefully to make way for new friends.

And back to my new friends, one of the women sent me an email before I left my house telling me that since we’d never met before, she’d be the one with the pink rose in her lapel. I knew, right then, that we were going to hit it off. I was so right…

They are business partners, one is the financial brains and the other is the creative mind. And they are close friends and balance each other well. One is married, in her late 30s with a kid. The other is in her late 20s, and single. And they are awesome. And my newest girlfriends here in my adopted hometown. That’s right, I have girlfriends!

We met for cocktails and appetizers. I got there at 4. Assumed I’d be home by 5. Rolled into my house at 6:30 to a husband who thought he’d all but been abandoned. I had fun. So much fun. Laughed, talked, joked and made future plans. Lots of future plans. These girls are right up my alley. Smart, funny, down-to-earth.

And when I returned home? An email from my other new mommy friend. We are having a play-date – my first ever – on Friday. I just love filling up my little day planner with social events. It feels like I am finally in the loop. The mommy loop…