My husband found this local “mom’s group” that was having a new member social on Saturday. Kids were invited. He suggested that I attend. I resisted. I’m not good at this stuff. But… I sent in my RSVP. Because I’d like to have friends in my new community. But then I worried all night about what I was going to wear. And what would my girls wear? Would the other moms be nice? Friendly? Would I be nervous? Like first-date nervous? How much make-up should I wear? Should I wear earrings? Or is that trying too hard?
Ugh.
Seriously, why so much anxiety? One of the main reasons we moved here was to be surrounded by people who are like-minded. People who enjoy what we enjoy. Value what we value. So…
I went to sleep and paid the whole thing no more mind.
Woke up, went about our schedule, dressed as I would normally dress. Dressed the girls in what they’d normally wear. Got in the car and headed out.
We were the first people there. Good. It’s much less intimidating to be there first, watching all of the other nervous moms enter then to be one of the other nervous moms.
And you know what? These women were nice. Really, really nice. And like-minded, just as I suspected. And we had a blast.
Coco crawled around and patted the murals on the wall at our local library, which is where the event was hosted. And Pea? She could make friends with a tree stump. She engaged other children. They chased one another up and down the steps. She ate pineapple and drank Capri Sun (two!) and painted pictures with these cool little markers that had lids that were permanently attached. So no throwing out dried out markers because it never occurred to Pea to place the cap back on. Clever? Insanely so!
And me? I made a new friend. A mommy friend. And we’re getting together this week. With our kids. To have fun. I can’t wait.
I’m the first to admit that making new friends as a mom has not been easy for me. In Fort Worth, I never found my place. And I blame that on no one but myself. I always knew that we were just passing through, that we were not going to be there for the long haul, and so I closed myself off. I figured, why bother? I’m just going to leave anyway. And on top of that, my social personality is an interesting dichotomy. On the one hand, I am something of a social butterfly. But on the other hand? I am shy, which often translates to stuck-up. Which I am not. But… you can see how that can be assumed, right? Standing off by myself, not talking to anyone. Hmm. What a snot. But I am not.
But now, here we are. My social calendar is filling up. I have a date for cocktails tomorrow night with the friend of a mutual friend. She and her business partner are meeting me at a local place for appetizers and drinks. And later in the week? A play-date with my new mommy friend. Not bad for two months, right?
But… what am I going to wear tomorrow night for cocktails?
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Hi Melissa! I’m finally back to the blogging world, and I’ve missed so many of your posts! So sorry! I’m trying to catch up. Glad to hear that you’re settling well into your new community. You and I are so alike, I wish we lived in the same community! I have the same social personality that you do, and have been accused of being “stuck up” all my life. I’m finally starting to make some consistent friends here, but it’s taken nearly 3 years. I’m glad things are coming together for you after only two months! Have fun!
How fun! Have a great time…and a cocktail for me (I’m another 27 weeks away from one of those!)
How exciting! I hope you have a great time! Yay for social calendars filling up. Can’t wait to hear about how much fun you have.
Wow that sounds like fun! My adventures with the local mommy group have not panned out as well. Not that it’s not fun, but it’s just been kiddie bowling and magic shows for the kids. Haven’t met a mom yet that I’ve clicked with. I need a mommy group for moms that want to hang out for drinks with adults and the amusement park with kids. I want to move to your area and hang with your group! I get the same thing with being shy at first – and thought to be stuck up. Then once I meet some people I’m a total social diva!
That’s so awesome Melissa!! I do understand the difficulty of finding women that you and your children click with. It’s hard but it’s worth persevering towards. It’s kind of like shopping for that perfect pair of jeans…
I’ve realized in my ‘Mommy-hood’ now that I always just took for granted the ease at which one makes childhood friends, high school friends and college friends. Because that’s part of what school is about…learning is first but part of that learning experience is making friends. And in school, no matter what age or grade, it’s easy because you’re all there together and whether you make one friend or 20 it’s still an atmosphere that is conducive to making friendships.
But now, to make a true friend…not just someone you exchange pleasantries with is real work…hard work. And it is hard work at maintaining that friendship. Until it’s at a really stable point. Again, I take for granted my college friendships because we have almost 17 years of a foundation of friendship behind us so it’s ok if we go for a stint without talking or emailing because we always know the other one is still there. But anyway…I’m very happy for you and proud of you!! Because it is intimidating and difficult when you know no one!! But YAY YOU!!!!
Keep us posted!
Good for you! It’s not easy getting out there and making new friends, even mommy friends which somehow seems like it should be easier than making general friends, but somehow isn’t.
Melissa, you just described ME!! I’m so happy about the new mommy friend, and it makes me want to “try”.. Have fun!!
I think you might need something new!!!
Congratulations on making some mommy friends! I am just like you a little shy which can be mistaken as stuck up. I got that all the time in HS. It seems the older we get the more challenging it is to make new friends. Here’s to your new friends and your cocktail date! I’m sure you will look fabulous!