Yesterday we took the girls to the birthday party of one of Pea’s classmates, a boy who also happens to kind of be in their playgroup, so Coco was also invited. The theme was creepy crawly things, so there was a lot of petting of snakes and chasing of giant cockroaches going on. Pea really wanted to touch the snakes, she was fascinated by the ordinary garden variety we had all summer long in our yard, and so I encouraged her to go up to the table and check them out. But her best friend shook her hood furiously, vehemently anti-snake. So Pea declined. They went and ate cupcakes instead. At the big girls table. So Coco settled into another table and started in on a giant bowl of M ‘n Ms. And a nice game of minding her own business. When the table was suddenly overcome with older girls. Who decided that the bowl of M ‘n Ms had to remain in the middle of the table. At all times. Especially that one girl directly across from Coco, who already had a plate full of those little candies. But insisted on yanking the bowl away from Coco, each time Coco reached for a handful. I didn’t say a word, although I was having a nice little chat with that child in my head. And Coco, who is so used to this behavior by now, having suffered for years at the hands of her big sis, was oblivious to it. But that behavior fires me up. And while we deal with it at home with our own children, I think it’s frowned upon to deal with it out in public with other people’s children right in front of their parents. Who are standing right there. Watching this rudeness unfold. And not doing a thing. Hint hint. Communal M ‘n Ms.

Then this morning, Pea tells Coco to give her a toy or she will not be allowed to go to school. Ever. Not when she’s three. Or four. Or five. And Coco says “no.” Apparently, she does not want to go to school. Or she’s calling Pea’s bluff. And so Pea responds with, “give me the toy now or I’m going to kick your ass.” And I chime in with an, “excuse me? What did you just say?” And she retorts quickly with an, “I’m going to kick your ass too, mommy.” And I laugh. Out loud. Why? It was funny. She’s four. And I’m a hypocrite. Right? Lost that opportunity to teach her about bad words and violence not being the answer and all. For the quick laugh. And after all my preachy self-righteousness about the candy, now I’m just another hypocrite? I guess so.

Parenting is exhausting. I get it. Tired of taking every single opportunity to teach kids about the world around them. Don’t be afraid to stand out from the crowd and be different. Share – there’s enough for everyone. Don’t use bad words. Violence is never the answer. And on and on. I wonder how many opportunities pass me by in a day that I don’t jump on? Too many to count, I’m sure. Oh, well. I guess we’re doing pretty well here, regardless of those missed lessons. My girls are sweet and polite for the most part. Pea picks her nose too much, but most kids do. And she’s pretty tough on her little sister, but when I think back to the torture I inflicted on my younger brother? Pea is a saint in comparison. Kids will be kids, right? Little Coco? As tiny as she is? She was not bothered in the least by the whole candy incident. She got her fill. I don’t think I have anything to worry about.