Funny thing is, I don’t have any of those books any more. I kept “What to Expect: The Toddler Years,” and the “Love & Logic” series. The former because I like it, it’s full of good information, non-judgmental and generic information, and the latter because, well, on occasion it works for us with our defiant preschooler.

Minutes after being born. The only time she was silent the entire three days we were in the hospital:

Her first birthday party, in Fort Worth:

Her second birthday party, also in Fort Worth:

Her third birthday party, just after moving to Utah:

Her fourth birthday party is this Saturday. All of the kids from her preschool class will be there, as well as some of her buddies from outside of her class. She’s very excited. We just came back from Target, where we were picking up ‘supplies.’ She’s gone birthday dress shopping, found a pair of party shoes, and can’t stop talking about it.

But in the meantime, as we wait for the big day to arrive, I’m looking through photos of her last four years, and ugh. My heartstrings are being tugged. They just grow so stinking fast, you know? From a helpless newborn to a fiercely independent preschooler. And this is not to say that I’m weepy for another baby, those days are long behind me. Especially now, that one girlfriend has a brand-new baby, and another just found out she’s pregnant for the third time. My husband will be relieved to know that I feel no pangs of desire for what they are going through right now, or will be, in the next seven or so months.

But, still. Babies. They’re so awesome. But you know what? So are preschoolers who can tell it like it is.

Happy almost-fourth birthday, little Miss Sweet Pea. I love you…

Girls: Mommy, can we go downstairs and play?

Mommy: Yup. Just make sure to play with one toy at a time, when you’re done with it, put it away and take out another. It’s more fun that way.

Girls: Okay.

(cue the sounds of toys, dolls and art supplies being thrown all around the room; oops, there goes the dollhouse… crash!)

Mommy: Oh. My. God. What the? Who the heck is going to clean THIS up?

Girls: YOU are!

Mommy: Oh no, you are sooooooooo mistaken, my little mess-makers. YOU are both going to clean up this mess. Or else…

Girls: Or else? Or else what? We’re going outside!

Mommy: Stupid toys. Barbie shoes – why so tiny? Pfft. Who the heck needs this many books? And Legos? Why so many pieces? Ouch! I just stepped on one! Jeez, I freaking hate this. What? I have nothing better to do than to clean up after these people? Really? Come on, guys! Team players! I’m not your maid! Or your servant! Stupid toys. That’s it. I’m done. And another thing? Husband? While we’re at it? Put your stupid belt away and stop peeling off your socks and leaving them on the floor! Just grow up! This is not my life’s work! To clean up after you, either! What, I have three kids now?

(This last part? Is spoken to myself, with the muffled sounds of my girls running around outside, in the backyard. Not helping me clean up their junk. My husband? Is making monster sounds, chasing them. I, in all of my OCD-ness, am inside, organizing toys, finding missing pieces, taping up ripped pages in books, etc.

So, I do what any mother would do, or at least what I’m told any mother would do: the next time the mess is made, I threaten to take the toys away if they are not put back in their place at the end of the day, and put them in the Sunday Bag. Which means you will not see them again until Sunday. Got it? Sunday. And then, I do, again, what any mother would do. And I follow through. I stomp around the house, pick up the ignored and discarded toys, place them in a sac and throw them in a clever hiding place, much to the girls’ pleading of, “no! Not that one! It’s my favorite!”

And then? Well, you can guess how this ends, right? NO ONE REMEMBERS THOSE TOYS IN THE SUNDAY BAG EVER EVEN EXISTED.

Stupid Sunday Bag.

So, I have since gone through all of the toys in the house, found all of their parts and pieces and taken a careful inventory. Kid not old enough for it? Stored for later use. Kid not interested? Donated to a worthy organization. Kid outgrown it? Passed down to a friend with a younger child. And on and on. Now? Streamlined. Toys, games and books that I have deemed fit for our home, our needs, our tastes.

This story is ending up a lot longer than I’d planned, but here is Chapter 2:

Meaghan (love the spelling!) sent me an email earlier in the week, suggesting that I check out a book on Amazon that she just received called “Cool Spaces for Kids.” She thought I’d like it. And she was right. UPS dropped off my copy this afternoon, and I cannot put it down. In fact, Pea and I just spent the last hour pouring over the pictures, talking about which projects we should tackle, and when.

The premise of the book is basically the same rule that we are trying to live by these days: less is more. Imagination is good. And children should have special places – just for them – in and around the house. A place all their own.

Interesting timing, since:

my husband and I have discussed the empty flower bed in the side yard, and how we’d like to teach the girls about food by having them grow their own vegetables. We’re starting with lettuce and cucumbers (this is covered in the book);

I have been dreaming of clever (and attractive!) ways to incorporate a window seat into the stairwell on the girls’ bedroom level, just under a window that overlooks the mountain across the street (also covered in the book);

pup tents… I have had plans for erecting a couple for the girls, out in the backyard, this summer (yup, it’s in the book);

and lastly, a conversation with my husband, as we drove him to the airport this morning, about a project I’d love for him to take on: a toy storage box with a chalkboard top, for the great room. That’s where we spend most of our time entertaining, and although currently there’s nothing in there for the girls, save two cabinets full of books, the room always ends up scattered with toys at the end of the day, so why not an attractive way to house them? I showed him a picture of one, from a shop that I like. He said no problem. Upon returning home from the airport? The new book I spoke of above was at the front door, and in it is a project for this very table. And with casters! (Which I had also requested on the one my husband build for us, I think they’re not on the one for sale above. Not that it matters. Because my husband is making us one! With casters! Lucky us! And, see? It’s in the book!)

So, in a nutshell: cool book, great ideas, all easily (I think) doable. And reasonably priced to complete, as well. Fits right in with my – our – new philosophy on home style and lifestyle…

Simple. Elegant. Sophisticated. Kid (and dog!) friendly. DIY (on occasion). Not going to break the bank (always good).

I think we’re going to be busy this summer…

Enjoy your weekend. We’ll be writing up hardware store lists, ourselves…

Oh, I almost forgot… Thanks, Meaghan!

I don’t think they are difficult to make, but the outcome is fantastic. He hung the first one at the foot of Pea’s bed, and she’s in love with it as much as I am. It looks great. It’s very low-profile, neat and different from the expected basket of books that’d been housing her nighttime reads, on the floor next to her bed, up until yesterday afternoon.

And I could easily have bought this shelf, and not thought twice about it. But how much more meaningful that rather than simply clicking on the “add to cart” button, my little girl’s father handcrafted a similar shelf for her? In his own wood-shop? While she played in the yard, next to his shop, with her little sister. You can’t put a price on that…

I love that my husband is so capable. I also love that I’m steadily learning that there are things I can live without, that there are things we can make ourselves. We made a vow to try and simplify our lives, and it looks to me like it’s working. And sometimes, as I’m sitting in front of the television at night, my knitting in hand (I’m making my first official sweater for Pea – from this book), I have to giggle at how old-fashioned it all seems. I’ve always been a traditionalist, but I also have always been a huge consumer. If I wanted it, I bought it. And most of what I was buying could not be accounted for a mere six months after the purchase was complete. And that’s so sad, to buy just for the sake of buying. So, we promised one another that we are going to be more mindful of the things we bring into our home.

I still believe firmly in quality over quantity. I buy the best that I can because it makes me feel good, but also because I know that over time, that item will pay for itself. Quality lasts. In fact, I still have the first cashmere sweater my mother ever bought for herself, over 30 years ago. She passed it along to me a few seasons ago, because although she was bored with it, it was a good sweater. And I’m enjoying it now. And with a little extra care, it looks nearly as good today as the day my mother bought it for herself. Splurged on it, really, all those years ago, when I was still a snot-nosed kid in the single-digits. She couldn’t really afford it, she was a single mother with two small children, new to the workforce. But she bought it, and all of those years, she’d held onto it. Long after she’d actually stopped wearing it. That beautiful black cashmere sweater with the boatneck held so many memories for her. And now, the sweater holds so many memories for me. There’s a story in that sweater. And I’m reminded of it every time I see it. I love that.

I just caught Coco with a cornflower blue Sharpie pen in her hand, and I will tell you that those pens are going to be the end of me. They come in all of these tempting colors now, and for some reason, you can find them all over our house. And Coco had one, cap off, in her little hand, searching for paper. And I just knew what was going to come next… Sharpie pen lines all up and down the front of her dress. And while I am good with the laundry, no one is that good. It’s not coming out. And the old me? Would’ve taken the dress off of her and thrown it in the trash. But the new me? Has left her in it, after all, it’s still ‘clean.’ And I’m now eying it with endless possibilities in my mind of how I can alter it, fix it, change it up…

Growth is good, don’t you think?

Oh, and The Bump? Brought to you by the geniuses behind The Knot. If you’ve recently gotten married (like in the last six or so years, which is about when I discovered their site), are planning a wedding, or are familiar with the magazine aisle at your grocery (there’s a magazine!), then you’ll know who I’m talking about.

And so, with no further ado, my first post for The Bump…

I believed there existed a code of ethics at private school. When it’s birthday party time, you invite all of the kids in the class. Or you invite none of the kids in the class. Why? Because in a class as small as hers, to exclude any child is cruel. Why would you ever choose to alienate one child from another?

All of the parties that we’ve been to this year have included all of the children. But a recent party? Selective. And to the mother who mistakenly mentioned the party to me? Don’t feel awkward. The way that you handled it was very classy.

Pea was not invited. My husband is certain that other children were left off of the guest list. But I don’t know that. Nothing surprises me these days.

I felt sad for my daughter, but I‘m the one who received the lesson in exclusivity. And so, to the mother who didn’t invite my child and then sent me a rather lengthy justification of why you didn’t invite my daughter? You should have left it alone. The last thing I wanted to see was your name attached to an email in my inbox. Some things are better left unsaid.

How will I handle this? Since I opted out of responding to her email and instead hit ‘delete?’ I will pleasantly smile at her as we bump into one another while dropping our children off at school next week. I will say good morning with a sincere smile. Because I am a kind person. With good manners. But inside? I will be wishing that I could say to her, in my snootiest voice, “how was your kid’s birthday party?” And then think of how satisfying it would be to hand her a gift-wrapped present for her child. And you know what that gift would be? A copy of Peggy Post’s 17th edition of Emily Post’s Etiquette. Because our children learn from us.

Good manners are not just about saying “please” and “thank you.” Good manners are also about how you make people feel.

If you’ve never been to Germany, I will tell you this. There is no where else in the world that has toys like the Germans do. There were several toy shops in Heidelberg. I am fairly certain that we visited them all. And the thing that I am most struck with, beyond the toys, is that the Germans love their children. A lot. And it shows in the interesting craftsmanship of their wooden toys; the illustrations in their children’s books.

Things to check out:

Books by Lisbeth Zwerger. She is a phenomenal illustrator. Her artwork is just breathtaking. So beautiful, you have to take a deep breath when you see it. Just don’t forget to exhale. (And thank you to the person who left a comment, months ago, that I check out Lisbeth’s work.) If you can find her a book illustrated by her, chances are it will be in German. But don’t let that turn you off. Trust me when I tell you that you are not buying them for the stories. You are buying them for the chance to own a book with the most gorgeous and lush illustrations that you will ever see. We bought several, including “The Little Mermaid” and the ever-famous “Hansel & Gretel.” Both are going straight to the framer. They are too beautiful to leave in a book somewhere in the house, to be torn up and then forgotten about. They are frame-worthy. Art.

Artwork by a gentleman named Michael Hall. We stumbled across his work at a tiny little bookshop on a sweet cobblestone side street. The woman who owned it was just the most charming person I’ve ever met. So charming, in fact, that I went back to her shop every day that I was in Heidelberg. To buy children’s books, yes. But also to peruse the walls of her shop. They were covered with artwork from a very eclectic group of artists. You can call these works folk art. Or even outsider art. But it was Michael Hall’s pieces that I so coveted. He is a prolific artist. Has a view of the world that I find beautiful. Inspiring. Colorful. And optimistic. We came home with a pieced called, roughly translated, “The Flower King.” It was lovingly hand carried back to the states by myself. And it’s now the most precious piece of art that I own. And I have a lot of art.

Any toy by Haba. And those are easy, as they sell them here. On Amazon. Sometimes at a pretty good discount. Wooden. Educational. Pretty. And fantastically sensible. And of course, fun for the kids and still attractive enough for the grown-ups.

I admit that Germany was never high on my list of places to visit. But I am so glad that I went. Particularly to Heidelberg. It’s a great introduction to Germany. Noting too serious. A small city rich is history with a lot of interesting characters to be met. I highly recommend it. And I’m now adding German to the list of languages that I am studying. Or want to study. As easy as it is for me to follow Spanish and Italian, and that I am meant to be French and therefore do very well with that language, German is impossible to understand or make sense of. But I’m working on that.

Some thoughts on the topic…

For the reader, particularly of current-day mysteries, all five books in Patricia Highsmith’s “Ripley” series. Campiest read ever. A kind of retro mystery, surrounding a man of much manipulation. Yes, it’s the same series that spawned Matt Damon in the role of Ripley, but don’t let that throw you off. The Ripley of the books is a debonair cad who unapologetically enjoys the finer things in life. And will do anything to get them.

For the writer, Moleskine notebooks. I can never have enough of these. Never, ever, ever. Small ones in my bag, large ones on my desk at home. I use them for everything, and have never crossed paths with someone who either didn’t know what they are, or wasn’t interested in owning one. These are the penultimate books of the likes of Hemingway (Hemingway!) and Picasso (Picasso!).

For the proper lady with the to-die-for manners, I’d always go with monogrammed correspondence cards from iomoi. Preppy. Trendy. Classic Or just plain cool. They’re all here.

For the foodie in your life, just about anything from Zingerman’s is going to delight. I’ve sent many gifts from this Michigan “deli,” and get immediate calls asking where on earth did I find these amazing breads? Because they are the best ever.

For the chef, these adorable Matryoshka measuring cups are perfect. So much fun, perched on the countertop. And functional, as well. Add a shot of color to someone’s life, a bit of whimsy with these.

For someone into home design, or the lives of the young and fabulous, I highly recommend “Bright Young Things,” the American version (there is also an English version). It’s several years old, but still so pertinent in regards to home design (and fashion, as well). I still pull this book out of my own stack of design books to get inspiration from it’s pages. I even gave this book to my own mother a few years ago. She’s a designer who has a library of design books to rival no other. And she adores this book. Finds constant inspiration in it’s pages, as well.

For the beauty addict, a subscription to “New Beauty (my current obsession, and I promise it is not all about plastic surgery, not by a long-shot… an impressive list of ‘judges’ and beauty product recommendations that I’ve found to be quite helpful),” and this little gift pack by Nars, of their best-selling “Orgasm” shade of multiple stick (love these!) and coordinating gloss. This color is incredible for anyone. I’ve seen so many different skins wear the original blush, and it looks different, but natural on all. This has been a staple in my make-up bag, on and off, for years. And I always make my way back to it.

For those who have everything with kids who have everything: a membership to just about anywhere. A local museum. The zoo. The Discovery Center. It doesn’t really matter, as long as it’s a place that they can visit together. As a family.

More thoughts on the subject, as the holiday shopping days are slowly (and quickly) counting down.

Tomorrow? Gifts for kids.

A few of my favorite cold weather items, to keep me (and my kids) toasty warm in our home…

Flor tiles at our back doors. It’s the entrance for our dogs from the wet backyard, and I can’t figure out how to keep it clean. Since I’m not one for mopping on a daily basis, I really wanted something that would look good and be easy to clean. I’d always turned up my nose at Flor tiles, but you know what? These things are awesome. They are indestructible. They catch the muddy footprints. And when a square or two get trashed, I just toss them away and replace with new ones. No more ‘disposable’ rugs for us.

Sheepskin rugs for the girls. I bought one of them, custom, from a little shop on Etsy, but then a flabbergasted reader left a comment that they have them at Ikea! For 20 bucks! And while 1) I am fairly new to the joy that is Ikea, and 2) the Ikea sheepskins are smaller than the one that I bought, and 3) while there is a $20 sheepskin, there is also a larger one (go for the white) for just under $50, which is about what I paid for the one I bought from Etsy, so really, it’s a wash. I did go ahead and buy another one the last time I was there. I was so tired of listening to my girls fighting over the sole sheepskin. Now, they both snuggle up on their respective rugs, which brings me to my next favorite…

Classic family movies. Think “The Sound of Music,” and “Mary Poppins.” I couldn’t wait to have kids old enough to watch these, and now that I do, bring them on! With a big bowl of movie-butter flavored popcorn. Individually portioned out, of course.

Ikea’s Unni Virka throw blankets, stacked up on the end of a sofa. Eventually, the snowy weather outside that is so delightful now is going to turn grey and dreary and endless. These colorful blankets will add life to those days.

I am loving Steven’s Gourmet Hot Cocoa in Belgian Dark Chocolate. Delicious. I’m not much for milk chocolate, but I hoard dark chocolate. Chances are, you can find this at your local grocery.

And to keep us warm on the inside, too, Bear Creek Chili mix. I have a wonderfully delicious homemade chili recipe from Canyon Ranch Spa that is incredible. But sometimes, in a pinch, I want something hearty and tasty that doesn’t involve chopping vegetables. All you need for the Bear Creek mix is a can of tomato paste to make this chili mix work. I always throw in one pound of ground turkey meat (already cooked) for extra flavor. You’d never know this wasn’t homemade, and the best thing is? It cooks up in 20 minutes. I find mine at the grocery, I’m sure you can, too.

And lastly, nothing says warm and cozy days inside while it’s blowing blustery winds outside then library books! My newest discovery! I don’t know what took me so long. Well, yes, I do. As a kid, I was tormented with trips to the library, and would always refuse to take a book out. Because sometimes? There were gross things stuck to the pages, and my little mind imagined the worst. Boogers. But now that I’m a mom, I’m not afraid of a little booger.

Now I can add Pea and Coco to our “Book-eater” list. Coco, fairly new to the nighttime ritual of stories, is now getting into her pajamas, running to her book basket, and handing me a stack of five or six books to read to her, before she turns in for the night. I love it. Just love it.

And Pea? She insists on five books every night. I have no problem with that. I am finding children’s books these days to be completely captivating, amusing, clever and sassy.

“The House on East 88th Street” arrived yesterday from Amazon. We promptly tore into the box, unwrapped the book and snuggled up on the sofa to read it. I was instantly transported back to my childhood, warm and fuzzy feelings of the better memories of my younger life, when I could literally lose myself in someone else’s story. While there was much angst, anger and feelings of resentment and abandonment, there were always books to take me away from it all.

The real winner in yesterday’s stack, however, was “This is Texas.” Written in the 1960s, I’m not sure how entirely accurate some of the numbers are, such as populations, statistics; but the gist of the book? Spot on. It’s so stylized, the illustrations, the writing, that even though I knew it was a brand new edition, I had to fight the urge to hold it up to my nose and take a deep inhale, searching for that familiarly old and musty smell of books from a time gone by.

It’s a big hardcover. Gorgeously illustrated. And since I am particularly smitten with the 60s right now, I couldn’t get enough of the drawings. And the writing? It’s very tongue-in-cheek. Take this little tidbit, in the section on Dallas, for instance:

“The deposits in the banks of Dallas total $16 billion. And if you think that’s enough and don’t want to add to it, you can leave all your money at Neiman Marcus, one of the most elegant stores in the world.”

Ahh, how true that is.

There are about one dozen books in this series. Rome, NY, San Francisco, Ireland. There’s even one on Greece, which I pre-ordered. That’s where my little Sweet Pea was conceived, so I thought that it’d be a lovely trip down Memory Lane. And of course, you knew that the Lover of All Things French just had to order the one on Paris, right? We’re diving into that one tonight…

These books are not just for children, either. I think they’d be so clever stacked up on a coffee table. A conversation piece, for sure…